


AU Meme: Lynda Day

by thisbluespirit



Category: Press Gang
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Meme, Request Meme, references to There Are Crocodiles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:35:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24041437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisbluespirit/pseuds/thisbluespirit
Summary: 10 AU scenarios for Lynda Day written for a Dreamwidth meme.
Relationships: Lynda Day & Kenny Phillips, Lynda Day/Spike Thomson
Comments: 10
Kudos: 10





	AU Meme: Lynda Day

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lirazel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lirazel/gifts).



**Wild West**

“So, what do they call you?” said Sheriff Day.

The cowboy tipped his hat back. “You don’t recognise this mug from the wanted posters? I’m only the meanest, baddest, toughest outlaw in the entire west –”

“Yes, I’m sure you are,” said the Sheriff, “but in this town, everyone does what _I_ say.”

**Coffee Shop**

There was a rustle of interest that passed over the shop, spreading from table to table as they watched a patron marching up towards the counter, coffee cup in hand.

One of the customers put down his paper, frowning over the sudden intense interest in the incident. “What’s the fuss about?”

He’s going to _complain_ ,” said the smallest of the staff arriving beside the table, hugging her arms against herself with glee, as she watched. “He’s got to be new. Wait for it – this is going to be _good_. I hope someone’s recording it…”

**Shapeshifters**

“I’m sure there must be ethical issues with listening to people’s conversations while disguised as an item of furniture.”

Lynda looked up. “You think it would be better if I disguised myself as something else?”

Spike gave up and looked at Kenny. Kenny shrugged.

“I saw that,” said Lynda, “and, frankly, I think there are far more ethical issues around defrauding a local children’s charity than there are listening in on fraudsters while disguised as a coffee table.”

“Well, when you put it that way, boss, who can argue?”

**Magic/Fairy Tale**

“Are you going to say thank you?” said her rescuer. “I fought a dragon for you.”

Lynda glared. “I’d just walked out here, miles and miles, to get an interview with it for the convent chronicles! Our illuminators have already done some nice twiddly bits for it and now you’ve scared it away.”

The knight took a deep breath. Okay. Tough crowd. “Right, so you’re saying now you want me to get the dragon that’s been terrorising the neighbourhood back so that you can ask it for its side of the story?”

“Of course not,” said Lynda. “I shall go and find it myself.” Then she looked back and gave the knight a smile. “You can come with me if you like. As long as you do as you’re told.”

**. . . In SPACE!!**

“So,” said Lynda, putting her foot into the sliding door before it could close, “have you got anything to say about the accusations of widespread corruption in the Space Corps, Commander?”

“Yes. Get out!”

Lynda refused to budge. “I’m afraid our holonet viewers will need a little more reassurance than that, sir. How about you try again? Because I’ve got plenty of information to share with the viewers if you haven’t and I don’t think you’ll like much of it. But then, you should have thought of that before, shouldn’t you?”

**Historical**

It hadn’t been a curse as such, of course, only unfortunate timing. But say the wrong things at the wrong time to the wrong people a few times too often, and this was where it got you.

Lynda raised her chin and let them lead her out to the stake. She could probably find a way out of this. Probably.

She just had to make herself believe she didn’t deserve to burn first.

**Canon Divergence**

“I’m so glad you didn’t go to Australia.”

Kenny glowered at her. He’d been keeping that up for a week, which was a record for Kenny. He’d usually caved into some sort of conciliation within two days. “Yes, Lynda. How strange that I couldn’t go to Australia after you _broke my leg._

“That was an accident,” said Lynda. “You should have let me steal your passport like I was trying to and then no one would have got hurt.”

**Crime/Detectives**

“Colin,” said Chief Inspector Day to the head of Fraud and Financial crimes, “you’re supposed to be investigating crimes, not committing them. How many times do I have to tell you that?”

“It was only circumstantial evidence! You can’t pin anything on me!”

“Watch me,” said Lynda, breaking out the handcuffs, although she did sigh at the way this was going to play out with the PR people. It was always so embarrassing when she had to arrest members of her own police force.

**Supernatural**

“Look, I’m sorry, I’m busy. Can you come back tomorrow night?”

The vampire paused. It must be losing its touch. “You aren’t feeling mysteriously drawn to me?”

“Not while I’ve got six articles to edit down to a manageable size before six tomorrow morning, no.” Lynda raised her head. “If you want to bite someone, there’s always Colin. Or Frazz. I don’t suppose anyone would notice the difference.”

The vampire hovered nearer, cloak billowing.

“Oh, and one step further,” said Lynda, “and we’ll find out how you are with metal spikes. Failing that, there’s plenty of solid wood round here if you prefer traditional methods. Besides, I had garlic butter with my dinner. Anything else, or can I get on with my work now?”

The vampire slunk away from the darkened newsroom.

Lynda shook her head. Now she was even dreaming while she was awake. It must be a bad day.

**Romance Novel**

Lynda sat down at her new desk. Editor of a national was a big step up, but she was sure she could handle it. She’d have to. Besides, she knew the newspaper business inside out by now. What could possibly go wrong?

“Hey,” said a voice from the side, “ _you’re_ our new boss? Who’d have thought it? It’s been a while, Lynda.”

“Not long enough, if you ask me!”

“Yeah,” said Spike. “So, will it break the ice if I tell you that you’re the mother of my secret love child and I just couldn’t keep away?”

“Wonderful,” Lynda said, cheering up, “a ground-breaking male pregnancy story. Exactly what we need to rival _News of the World_. Great. Are you free for an interview with Features at 10?”


End file.
